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  1. Charlotte Georgina says

    This is the first time I’ve been on your blog (I came here from your Instagram). This is a subject that I think is so interesting and I think you discuss it really well.
    We live in a society where women are sexualised, and men find their masculinity in pursuing women. I am part of a younger generation where I definitely feel comfortable that if I ever wanted to ‘experiment’ with the same sex I could, and that in fact if I ever did I’d have a broad audience of people happy to listen to the details. That’s because I’m a woman, and then there is my boyfriend on the other side of that. He is the most loving person I have ever met, but his sexuality is something we both struggle with. Society has told him to keep his 10% interest in men a secret, because otherwise he is labelled ‘gay’ and his 90% preference for women is ignored. This has led to him being uncomfortable at best with his sexuality and me confused by his confusion. Then I have to remind myself that we have experienced different freedoms with our sexualities. I think that he would enjoy a MFM experience, and I think he would want to experiment with that said male. In no world though do I think he would ever put himself in this situation and if he ever was he wouldn’t experiment with said male. Yet he’d encourage me to if we were in a MFF situation.
    All very interesting and I could definitely go on, but I will stop here. Thank you for bringing this subject up so eloquently.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you Charlotte for taking the time to read.
      I think the problem shouldn’t be about women being sexualised, but in how we teach men to think about masculinity. A lot of it does centre around pursuing women and counting a high number of bedroom partners.
      I’ve noticed that women are not very fazed about others thinking they might be gay. But some straight guys get very funny about looking like gay men or being considered one. Probably because again, masculinity is based on women.

      It’s a shame that your boyfriend doesn’t feel comfortable to express that 10% of him. Though very understandable in today’s society.

  2. Alex says

    Great article Laura. I know I haven’t been here in a while but I‘m glad you‘re still here. You‘re writing has always been brave and honest and I love that about your blog.
    I think the problem is often that the idea of a threesome is much better than the actual outcome.

    When I was single the MFM situation was the only one I ever considered but only to have two men focussing on me and to feel special I guess. The thought of sharing a guy with another girl was never suitable for me. Being in a relationship I could never share my bf with someone else (maybe I‘m too jealous but I can be quite insecure).
    I only ever experienced the MFM situation and even before, the part where they would start touching just seemed unrealistic to me, which it was in the end. I wouldn’t have had a problem with it but I guess heterosexual men don’t like to cross that line. I guess it only ever makes sense if the guys are either attracted to each other or strangers, otherwise they will end up struggling to be naked in front of each other.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you Alex!! I keep pushing myself to be more open and discuss topics not always addressed.

      I get where you’re coming from about sharing your boyfriend with another woman. From that perspective, two guys does seem more suitable.

      Because straight men are usually very uncomfortable about having their sexuality challenged or adapted, they usually don’t respond well to interacting sexually with each other. Whereas women can kiss and do stuff to another female, usually without concern. Unless the guys were really into it, it would come across fake.

  3. thelonelyauthorblog says

    Laura you aren’t afraid to touch topics.

    I have been in many threesomes, but they have all been MFM. I really enjoy them. I have never touched any of these men. They have never touched me.
    Some men want to experience/watch the “my wife having another man” thing. I think they are great. And when the two men really dedicate themselves to
    pleasing of this shared woman, I think it can be such an exhilirating experience for her.

    Never had a MFF. Have curiosity, but honestly the whole girl kissing thing is fine, but it doesn’t drive me crazy or anything. So, I never really persued it.

    Will women ever get turned on by seeing two men perform? Perhaps, we are still decades away from that. Two men kissing are automatically labeled gay or bi as you stated in your article. I don’t think to many women will be turned on by that, not right now. I believe for the most part, women still want a man to be a man. Maybe I am wrong.

    Have a great weekend.

    • LauraJ says

      It’s interesting to read a man’s perspective.

      Funnily enough, I spoke to a friend about this, and we agreed that while we don’t have male on male fantasies, we wouldn’t be turned off by a boyfriend being sexual with another man during a threesome. I’ve never had a threesome before and I suppose because it’s not a major fantasy or turn-on for me, but I think it could be hot if two guys didn’t completely ignore one another during the act.

      But in general though, I think many women still fall to the perception that if a man is enjoying another man, he must be gay or maybe more interested in men. It seems insecurity has a role to play in our acceptance.

      Hope you have a fantastic week and thank you for commenting.

I would love to read your thoughts!

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