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  1. Mitch says

    Interesting and refreshing to see something that’s not the constant male bashing we’re getting from the media, society, etc. So, thank you.

    Here’s my take for whatever it’s worth. Times have indeed changed and the more society is wanting women to be more like men, and men to be more like women, no wonder people are confused. The lines are getting blurred. Being raised in a one parent household, I understand the plight of the single mother. She worked three jobs while I was also working from twelve years old through high school to help put food on the table. So, I get it. Slamming women just because they’re single mothers is messed up. After seventeen years of marriage, she had no choice but to leave.

    I was the typical teenage boy. A lot of rough and tumble mixed in with some adolescent angst for good measure. I did and still do things that some might be consider, “toxic.” Things like lift weights, karate, boxing, drink whiskey, play and watch sports, and yes, love sexy women. But, the sexy woman should have some smarts. Nothing is more unattractive than a lack of intelligence. Do these things make me a bad guy in the eyes of feminists? I don’t know, but I live the way I do unapologetically.

    I encourage everyone to live life as they see fit by being honest with themselves and not let society nor anyone else dictate how you should live. As long as you’re not breaking the law, being unethical, or hurting anyone, it really isn’t anybody’s business how you live. Embrace your femininity for what works for you as I embrace my masculinity for what works for me. Shaming from all sides doesn’t help anyone. That means the young vs the old, male vs female, overweight vs thin, right vs left, race vs other race, religion vs religion, etc., etc….

    Have the courage to live with outcome independence and don’t care what others think, say, or do, and you’ll be fine.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I see nothing wrong with boxing, whiskey, sports etc. for anyone who is interested. Toxic to me is more about a man or woman conforming to negative stereotypes within their gender that affect others. But like you say, it’s about doing what works for you and what doesn’t hurt anyone or break the law.
      When I was researching this topic, I found an article that described how children are born without knowing what interests their gender like; it’s adults who say boys should behave like this and girls like that. So I’m not surprised some people grow up confused and wanting to break free from society restrictions.

  2. K.M. Sutton says

    I LOVED your last paragraph. While I definitely am all for people finding their identities, I do think all the labels almost make it more confusing and even divisive. Let people be people. We all have our own ideal partner. Wanting a guy to open doors isn’t a bad thing. Just like a woman wanting to be the breadwinner isn’t either. If it works for you. Do it. Who cares what society dictates. <3

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! My sentiments exactly! We’re all different – why shame people who like old school manners? I think you can still be modern and independent while appreciating a door being held open. x

  3. Beyoutiful says

    I totally agree with your stance on this topic. I actually feel that it’s not only masculinity that is confusing but femininity is equally as confusing in society nowadays. There are women who feel like they are feminists but they actually put down women in society in real life. I still feel like there is still so much competition among young women now. Masculinity is def the same way where men exert masculine traits but also do express their feminine side by supporting women rights or being able to express their feelings so openly. I think society is changing now and people have been adopting a new mindset about not having to adhere to sexism all the time. We should all accept that women can be leaders, dominate in the corporate world, etc. and show masculine traits just as men can also show feminine traits by expressing their feelings/emotions more. Just like you said, we def need to stop judging and putting labels on everyone’s attitude and opinions.

    Love this post girl ❤️

    • LauraJ says

      That’s true – femininity is also confusing. And the stereotype of women gossiping and shaming other women has a lot of truth. I don’t know a woman who hasn’t experienced this.
      We should just let people be who they want to be. In many ways I’m very girly but I also think I have masculine traits, probably like most people. Thank you for reading girl x

  4. Mbalenhle says

    I love how relatable this is. I think the fact that where we stand with masculinity is so unclear makes it hard for anything to change. I know of a few guys (not personally) who unapologetically promote and support women’s rights on social media but actually sexually and physically abuse women behind closed doors. I personally know women who are all about feminism yet tolerate abusive men and talk down on other women. It’s all just a mess, it’s something I’ve given up on, l think we are just going to keep going around in circles with no progress and it makes me so sad

    • LauraJ says

      I imagine the guys who abuse women while promoting women’s rights on social media, are doing so to keep up appearances and create a fake image to the world. Maybe even to lure other women.
      And I think many women pick and choose when feminism and girl power works for them. Some just want to support the women who share their views.
      I can see us going around in circles as well. Maybe we’re just placing too much emphasis on gender and not enough on feelings.

I would love to read your thoughts!

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