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  1. hoiyinli says

    Interesting article and topic! I think the thing that has changed the most in the last 50 years surrounding dating, relationships and marriage is the increase in choice which means that we have become pickier. We can like someone today and say we don’t like them tomorrow. We all know an affair is wrong but clearly people are still doing that. I think the fact of the matter is, we have in some ways become more selfish. There’s a high, some kind of rush to thinking there’s someone “better out there”. I wonder if things like dating apps have blinded us a bit?

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I think exactly this as well. I also think people are now striving for more and expecting a partner to have the perfect qualities. We have a throwaway culture where you can just ghost and keep on dating without consequence.
      Before, it was much more difficult to go to a bar every night and find a person.

      We want to keep improving our partners in the same way we improve career and self. I think it’s quite a negative situation. Dating apps have probably blinded us.

  2. K.M. Sutton says

    Such an interesting article! I think in todays climate there is no reason to go after a “taken”person. (man or woman, becase men go after married women as well) apps make it much easier to find someone who will fit your relationship requirements and that includes open relationships, polygamy, swinging etc. <3

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I think the opposite in a way (not saying I support going after someone in a relationship), but there’s so much choice in dating, it’s almost impossible to actually make a choice. It kind of leads to some people being more picky and over selective, maybe seeing their complete package in a taken person.

      But I agree that open relationships, polygamy and swinging aren’t so taboo anymore and it’s far easier to find it online. xx

  3. thelonelyauthorblog says

    I always thought the attraction for a single woman was the ability to be in a relationship with no commitments. No washing of laundry, arguing over money or bills, or visiting unpleasant in-laws.

    I have always found myself “finding” more women attracted/interested to me when I have been involved in a relationship. Weddng rings are almost like a magnet at times,

    I myself, don’t want to be judged, so I don’t anyone. To each his own. Let it be.

    • LauraJ says

      Maybe it’s the thrill of going after something you shouldn’t want – it’s the excitement of getting a person who isn’t available.

      Do you think there’s more commitment in a way though with an affair? Like having to stick to a specific schedule and arranging your life around a person, their partner and potential kids etc?

      You could end up swapping the money arguements with time complaints. My biggest fear would be catching feelings. I wish I could say it was the fear of breaking a family, but I’d worry about myself falling too deep.

  4. The Life of Jea says

    Personally, I prefer single meeting single 🙂
    I know of a few women that have gone after married/taken men, and it ended in disaster for all of them, not to mention some of the children.

    • LauraJ says

      It rarely ends well because it’s the careless, selfish option. Whenever someone cheats, I just think, why don’t you get a divorce first? I feel it’s always more wrong for the person who’s married.
      I do understand people catch feelings and sometimes someone can find themselves in a web they can’t spin out of, but it seems a huge gamble to take.

I would love to read your thoughts!

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