This morning I found time to rummage through online sites for summer clothing. Baffled by the countless choice, I struggled to purchase a simple dress and top. My friend said to me last night, “you don’t know what your vibe is”. A revelation making my stomach’s anxious knots twist another loop. After years of searching, holistic healing and improving myself, I’m left contemplating what is your vibe?
Figuring Je Ne Sais Quoi
I wrote about Owning Your Je Ne Sais Quoi in February last year. Translated in English, “I don’t know what” describes people who possess a certain something – a sexy, alluring enigma which you can’t help but gravitate towards. They’re the confident, “cool” adults who you want to emulate; sexy regardless of body shape and features. Their attitude extends beyond confident body language. You admire their looks on Instagram.
You know their Insta feed hold hours of photo snapping, editing and meticulous layout precision. It’s all glossed and glamorised – who knows whether their vibes transcend from photo to person. And yet, you gravitate and can’t help but try to analyse ingredients. I’m sure everyone has that someone who makes them feel in awe. A person who you can’t feel jealous about, you just want to have the same intrigue.
I’m continually editing my style and questioning my appearance. Each time I feel good enough to reveal skin, I instantly want to become elegant again and vice versa. I change my opinion about fashion as easily as switching from pizza to pasta. This undecidedness continues to simmer through my writing, actions and life decisions. One minute I’m in love and the next I deserve better.
Insecurity or confusion?
“What is your vibe” doesn’t get reflected upon women. A Google search led me to male websites encouraging tips to attract women. The usual recommendations suffice – create a daily routine, dress well and let your thoughts be heard. Though I love reading advice with plausible solutions, nothing seems enough. I don’t think I’m insecure – occasional doubts creep in, yet I’m in a happy, content place. I like myself and I’m proud that my fitness dedication has paid off. Notwithstanding, I’m missing something.
I notice the gap each time I try to curate my Instagram aesthetic and pick my outfit options. To me it’s important to know my appearance; how I look and the aura I create pave my habits. Outfits help answer how great we feel – trinkets to our personality and perception of how we place ourselves in the world. That may sound dramatic but we easily understand the distinction between wearing a new outfit and a tatty garment.
When my friend mentioned my vibe, we were discussing a model I came across who undoubtedly recognises her beauty, talent and uniqueness. She wasn’t trying to replicate, fit in and blend to popular notions of how to dress. With that said, her outfits radiate chic. She felt trendy without a trendsetter position. I think I’m lost in figuring my full awareness. I’m experimenting and trying to find home, not quite flying to the right tree. And I believe that shows; I’m a little all over – wondering why I’m not 100% powerful. Imagine knowing yourself completely; unfazed by comparison.
What is your vibe – tips to find it
Does answering “what is your vibe” link to figuring who you are? According to improveyoursocialskills.com, we may be showing just “a tiny fraction” of our “potential attractiveness.” The site features a number of steps they suggest you follow to feel confident. This includes writing down the “three most beautiful compliments” you’ve received and analysing what they say about you. In society today, we keep seeking advice while honing limitations. We usually see a stunning woman and feel bad rather than appreciating her allure.
As they say, it’s confidence that makes you look sexy. If you don’t know what to feel confidence about or what you want people to notice however, it’s impossible to portray the best of you. That’s the slope I’m on. A voice whispering I’m not reaching my potential and not harnessing my true identity. My closet says this, as well as my photos and energy when I’m conversing with strangers. I’ve decided to attempt a 30-goal challenge where I pursue 30 things that make me scared, anxious or indecisive. I want explore, try new activities and figure out what’s my missing piece.
What is your vibe? Would you consider a goal challenge to push yourself out of your comfort zone?