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  1. Jyo says

    This is wonderful post…
    How so many times we live the paradox of on one hand wanting to be seen and on the other hand dreading emotional/physical unsafety of being seen.
    Happy that you talked about the shame.
    We can put so much effort into how we look on the outside — what the world can see. Meanwhile we sometimes don’t spend as much effort on the inside.
    Any ways thanks for writing this ! Appreciate it Laura ❣️

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you!! That’s exactly it. I grew up spending so much time fixating on my looks and worrying about how others viewed my appearance, I let my self worth inside diminish.
      And the paradox is very true – people want a certain kind of attention but usually when you have good attention (polite, nice compliments), you also get the uncomfortable stuff too. Thank you so much for reading! x

  2. The Life of Jea says

    Oooh, nicely written! I’m sometimes a bit jealous of how good you are with words 🙂 The good kind of jealous, not the bad kind 🙂
    My mum didn’t use make up or anything like that, so I never started to use make up either. I tried a really nice lipstick once, but the girls in school made fun of me for how my lips looked (completely normal, but yeah). So never in school again.
    It’s so important that people remember that how someone looks on social media, isn’t always the truth.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you!! I’m always doubting my writing at times. Right now I’m putting all this pressure on myself to think of good blog topics. I don’t know why! The thing with social-media, everyone – including celebs, feels pressure to edit and pose a certain way. Because there is so much judgement. I admit to removing certain spots if they are noticeable on my face because of how much people use to criticise my skin in public. We need more celebrities and influencers to publish more natural images so others are encouraged to do the same. I think that would help.

      • The Life of Jea says

        That would absolutely help 🙂
        There are so many photo’s with edited stomachs, thighs, etc that it’s just horrible. Spots and smaller things are fine to edit away if, I think 🙂

  3. Infinite Living says

    I am so thrilled to read this post Laura! I applaud your finesse, thoughtfulness and honesty with which you tackle this sensitive and important topic. I can relate to the deep rooted need to rely on outer appearance for acceptance. Being called beautiful had become part of my identity and the fear had creeped in regarding what I was beside that. I am grateful to have been on a journey where my personal joy and peace became part of the definition of feeling beautiful. I now feel free from having to be a certain way.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you so much for your kind words! I think so many people rely on their appearance in order to feel good and accepted. Probably why the beauty industry is worth billions. I think the most liberating thing for me was going outside without makeup and just letting my ‘flaws’ show.

  4. Beyoutiful says

    I can totally relate! I always get stares and compliments about my looks and sometimes envied that my pics are flawless. I was also brought up with a beautiful but perfectionist mother and I’m exactly like her in wanting everything to be perfect including my looks. The other day, I took a selfie and was just so obsessed how it wasn’t perfect and that it showed my insecurities. Even in the mirror, I get so mad if my hair or makeup isn’t perfect or if my face is puffy and not as skinny as it used to be since I looked “flawless” back then. I realized that this was so silly and being beautiful is not about the looks but it’s about the personality and who we are as a person. Great post girl ❤️

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you for reading! I still think it’s important to like how you look on the outside and to let your physical apperance partially represent who you are. But it’s more about enjoying making your hair look a certain way and experimenting with your clothes, rather than feeling pressure. And of course, our personality and who we are is crucially important! x

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