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  1. hoiyinli says

    This is a beautifully-written post and a very relevant topic – I feel like I’m reading my favourite magazine! (I don’t actually read magazines anymore.)

    I have had a few cases of cat-calling before. I think one time, I was walking home on my own from school and a group of guys in a car came past cat-calling but also shouting some racist things so no, it wasn’t a compliment at all. It’s been a long time since I’ve been cat-called but that doesn’t mean I’m not experiencing other degrading male behaviour. It’s hard to put into words but I can read the way when a male gaze turns into blatant female objectification/exoticism so I normally avoid the gaze to avoid the conversations.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you!! I appreciate you going through my posts by the way. I don’t read magazines anymore either – too many adverts and not enough good content.
      I get what you mean about those gazes. Some men just blatantly stare at you without any consideration of how uncomfortable it is.

  2. K.M. Sutton says

    YES to everything you said! It IS abuse. And while some instances are more “innocent” then others (the guys who say hey good looking, compared to the ones who say nice C@#$%) it still makes ME feel degraded and like I need to go take a shower. It isn’t a compliment. And those who get pissed because I didn’t acknowledge them or oh my word thank them for deigning to talk to lil ole me, because of course no one EVER shouts at me, can honestly go take a hike.
    It also has nothing to do with how I dress. If anything I get more catcalls when I am dressed casual then when I am dressed up. I get so aggravated when people say that if I didn’t dress a certain way I wouldn’t get catcalled. I call BS to that.
    (I literally could go on about this topic because it is one I feel incredibly strong about) I feel like them not doing it because I am with a man is the same exact reason women have to use the archaic boyfriend excuse when saying no to some guys. THEY have NO respect for women, unless we are the “property” of a another man.
    NO ONE seems to understand boundaries in todays day and age (honestly was there EVER any boundaries when it comes to women?) living in the city I am subjected to it quite frequently, and lately it seems like it is a daily occurrence. It isn’t attractive, nor is it some witty pick-up line. If anything it makes me want to snap their picture and post it on a billboard for everyone to see.
    Thanks for sharing this hun! <3

    • LauraJ says

      In France now, they are taking this really seriously. I keep hearing people say how there’s much bigger issues in the world and it’s not really a big deal.

      But I just think, why should we accept it? It goes the same for any women who chooses to catcall as well – they should be held responsible.

      The amount of times a guy has casually grapped me or not left me alone, is ridiculous. Why have we suddenly accepted that men can’t help themselves? It’s a silly excuse society sometimes uses and I’m sick of it as well.

      Regarding men not doing it when a guy is there, I also think they don’t because it takes away the vunrability factor. They think a women on her own is more weak and an easier target. You made me think as well, how I use to lie about having a boyfriend to get a guy to leave me alone. Thank you reading lovely! x

      • K.M. Sutton says

        Good for France! And for anyone who says this isn’t a big issue, they can go jump in the Seine. Joking kind of, but seriously, I have been threatened and grabbed. Catcalling leads to much bigger issues LIKE attacking women because they feel they are empowered and can (and no not all cat-callers are rapists, as I mentioned before their is varying degrees) it is a huge deal.
        I have been in several situations where it went beyond catcalling (I had a group of guys follow me into a subway and start to get violent because I didn’t respond…thankfully, police were there and intervened) and For awhile I didn’t want to leave my apartment or go back to that spot.
        Girl yes! It is the stupidest excuse.
        And I agree it is a power trip for them. I know so many women who have done that because a guy won’t take no for an answer. Thank you for posting this sweets! It is such an important topic!

        • LauraJ says

          Thank you for reading. My thoughts are exactly the same. Thank goodness the police were there when those guys followed.
          Women shouldn’t have to feel afraid to go in the subway or somewhere where men might not be able to control themsleves. x

  3. Beyoutiful says

    Nice post girl and totally agree! I really don’t like men catcalling women just to get her attention as well as guys who flirt like way too much just to win her heart. I always prefer gentlemen behavior and that’s personally what attracts me. I believe men like these really need to get out of the whole catcalling behavior and learn how to properly respect women out there.

    • LauraJ says

      Yes gentlemen behaviour is so much more desirable! I don’t like over flirting as well, in the same way I don’t like when people try to be over funny, or make jokes 24/7. Thank you for reading lovely. x

  4. The Life of Jea says

    Goodness me, did you see the comments she got? Sigh..
    It’s just creepy when men do it. And that we never know if he/they will get angry at us for looking away or not responding so we will get pushed into the street, or hit in the head or something.
    One man got so angry with me when I ignored him when he yelled “hey sexy, looking good!” that he started following me and yelling more, rude, things. I looked at him, got ready to fight back, and he (thankfully) got scarred and left… No thanks…

    • LauraJ says

      Yes, that’s such a good point. Some men do get really angry and can’t handle being ignored. So they can turn violent and start swearing and trash-talking a woman. That’s happened to me before as well.
      In France, a girl recently got attacked for standing up for herself against a catcaller. It can be really scary.

  5. Melina Elisa says

    I don’t know whether catcalling should be considered an abusive offence, but I can definitely say that catcalling is not flattering in the slightest. I really never thought about the idea that men catcall to impress other men. It actually makes a lot of sense though! I’ve never been catcalled by a man who was alone, it’s typically with a guy is with at least one other guy. Great post Laura! you added some interesting thoughts to this world-wide discussion! xxx

    Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I think it should be an offence of some kind. Mainly because I’ve found the catcalling has got worse over the years. I think it often turns quite angry and guys have got more relaxed about doing it.
      France are now fining people. It caused outraged when a girl was attacked for standing up for herself. I think it’s awful as well, when it’s late at night and your catching a train, but there’s a group of lads talking about you on the platform.
      Thank you for reading! xxx

  6. thelonelyauthorblog says

    Catcalling is for Neanderthals. There is no way anyone should justify this type of behavior. I know a lot of it is male bonding, trying to show one’s co-workers or friends how many they are. I always felt manly on a chance meeting the a bookstore or restaurant and being so witty and charming, she couldn’t say no to my offer for dinner.
    And I am afraid this behavior only makes things worse because the young men that see this awful display, believe that is the way they must behave.

    • LauraJ says

      I wish more men thought like you – what’s wrong with charm and wit?!
      I think ‘lad’ culture has risen and when I was at school, I noticed so many guys were treated popular, just because of the way they embarassed girls.
      Thank you so much Andrew for reading.

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