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  1. hoiyinli says

    Now looking back, I guess I grew up poor but I certainly never felt that way. I am the youngest out of my siblings and I had more material possessions than they did when they were really young (my brothers are considerably older than I am). My birthday would normally be one big gift, or sometimes two along with new clothes that my mum would be happy to buy. Compared to my friends, I probably didn’t get a lot at all but I was always grateful when I got the odd birthday or Christmas present.

    My mum has a rich perspective in that she knew she wouldn’t be “richer” in saving all the money she earned because money is there to spend or invest right? She doesn’t have a particularly high income but she’s happy to spend the money even just for a day once in a blue moon and this outlook has taught me in life. I have enthusiastic shopping trips where I treat myself. Of course, I buy less random/useless items now and invest in more classic/unique pieces.

    As for my friends…I think me and some of my friends are quite evenly matched. When we finally see each other, we are not afraid to spend a bit more on a shopping trip or a nice dinner. Being lavish is also part of the experience of being with someone, somewhere and that’s what enriches my lifestyle overall. 🙂

    • LauraJ says

      That’s a lovely way of seeing things. I do think money is there to enjoy as much as it’s there to help us live. And sometimes it’s nice to just spend abit more and live a little more lavishly.
      I remember this with my mum as well. She wouldn’t just waste her money or go beyond her means, but she made a point of treating herself to some really nice things.
      And that’s made me less anxious about money. I love saving, but I don’t want to be overly cautious. I had a friend like that once and it made going out a nightmare. She would constantly have to compare prices.

      • hoiyinli says

        Money is actually a funny thing. If you hold back too much, you really don’t gain that much in anything, including wealth whether physically or emotionally. Put it this way: Rich people didn’t get rich by saving.

        Oh that DOES sound like a nightmare! I know some people who really mind buying another friend something small like a cup of coffee because they’re on a “low income”. Is it just me who gets bugged by this?

        • LauraJ says

          I understand if someone doesn’t have a lot of money, and therefore panicks about spending it in general – however small. To me, it’s people who are just stingy in general. Like I don’t mind splitting a bill in half, even if I spent a little less.
          Some people who earn a decent amount, have to calculate their exact share, to make sure they don’t spend even 50p more than their meal costs. That is annoying! 🙂

  2. Tori says

    Such a beautiful piece! I think so many of us have fallen into what looks or sounds good opposed to what feels good many times. Like you, I had a very similar experience growing up where I had some pretty wealthy friends or admired the even wealthier grew and noticed their varying lifestyle. It wasn’t until I began to notice people were always admiring mine that I realized I had something special. I’m so glad you got some valuable things and new ambition out of being in such a group! Typically, (well as of the last few years), I’ve only allowed friendships that involved multiple similarities. However, I’m just now getting into the state of wanting to experience what having a friendship with such a variety of different people is like so that is my next indulgence, if you will.

    XO,
    Tori

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you Tori! I really recommend you try to become friends with a wide variety of people. It should definitely be your next indulgence.

      I think it teaches you a lot more about yourself, and you get to realise that you can have so many similarities, to people who are technically completely opposite.

      Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment! xx

  3. Melina Elisa says

    I have friends from varying lifestyles. I don’t judge where you came from or how you live, but I expect a certain amount of …”manners?” I don’t know if that’s really the right way to word it. I like people who are polite to everyone, regardless of who they are. I surround myself my people who are more on the positive side. I don’t care whether they can/can’t afford to go certain places to eat/drink because if I enjoy their personality and enjoy them as a person/friend we can always go to one another’s house, an affordable restaurant/bar, or just go to a park or walk around town and have a chat. I have been very blessed in my life. My father grew up poor and my mother grew up upper middle class (in dominican republic mind you, so it was still extremely different from growing up in the same classes in the US or probably Europe). They were both raised extremely humble, and raised me and my sister the same. We were not lavished with gifts (even if they could afford it). We always lived very modest lives. It probably wasn’t until my youngest brother was born that we started going on vacations more, and they started treating us more with “nicer” gifts. I honestly think that being raised that way taught me to work hard for my money, and overall value the money we have instead of focusing on the money we don’t have. Great post Laura! xx

    Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com

    • LauraJ says

      I’m SO big on manners! I cannot stand people who refuse to say a simple please or thank you.

      It’s so great that you have that attitude! I don’t think a friend is genuine when they only want to spend time with you at a certain location. I can understand if someone had money and wanted to visit a 5* restaurant, but they shouldn’t expect someone with less money to go with them. It’s as simple as taking someone else.
      xxx

  4. Mrs.S LDN says

    I really enjoyed this Laura, on so many levels!
    I’d be quite nervous to win the lotto actually… I’d be scared to see what it would do to me, money does change everything and there is never enough ya know?
    xxx

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you Hazel!! I think money is better in small amounts. If I won the lottery, I would like to receive a portion on a yearly budget, so I can get comfortable and not overspend. It can really go to your head. xxx

      • Mrs.S LDN says

        That would be a brillaint way of doing it!! Think you’d have to organise that though 🙂 Have you seen the young winners come out before who said it ruined their lives? One I thonk tried to sue the lottery!! Craziness! xx

        • LauraJ says

          Yeah there is one girl in particular, who always talks about it. People forget that in order to live long-term as a millionaire, you have to keep making millions. xx

  5. Jyo says

    Wow such a great read, very interesting indeed !
    Being rich won’t make you happy but ofcourse it will solve 90 percent of your problems☺.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you!! It can certainly solve alot of issues. I think it depends on your mindset. If you see money as an added benefit and as a great way to do more things in life, it’s amazing.

      But if you view money as a tool to create your happiness from scratch or validate you as a person, then I think it becomes an issue. Thank you for reading! x

  6. K.M. Sutton says

    I LOVED this! Girl your writing is incredible! I can also relate to this. My ex was incredibly wealthy (his mom was socialite) and it was fun because before dating him, I had always dreamed about how glamorous that world was, but once I was a part of it, I quickly realized how overrated it was. How on everyone had to be, and that they never stopped to enjoy their “riches” They had gorgeous houses, but didn’t get hang out in them, and traveled but never really experienced it. I don’t begrudge the time i spent with him, because I learned so much. But most importantly I realized how much I desired the simple things and that THAT was okay. We all have to live our truths, but also respect others which may be different from ours. <3

    • LauraJ says

      THANK YOU!! I think people get so comfortable, it’s like everyone lives in a bubble. When you don’t have something, you appreciate it that much more, compared to those who are just use to living in luxury.
      My biggest desire now is just to experience life. I’d rather visit an amazing location, than having an expensive bag or pair of shoes anyday. Not that there is anything wrong with having them or wanting both, but the simple things that make life can’t be compared. 🙂 x

  7. The Life of Jea says

    I grew up poor, but I didn’t know it. And my brother and I never felt poor, it was what it was.
    But then, when I was 16 or 17 someone from school invited me to her birthday party. I knew her family was rich because of where she lived, but I didn’t really know what that meant. She was a bit odd, but she was never rude or mean or anything.
    But at that party… goodness me, that’s when I understood what rich meant 🙂 And that’s when she understood that I was poor too. Her parents gave her more money in one month, than my parents gave me in an entire year, and she was really angry because she couldn’t afford to buy anything. Their cars, and boats, her designer clothes and shoes… She thought she war poor! When I told her what I had, or rather, what I didn’t have, I was no longer worth talking to. There was a nother girl there who was poor too, and we both ended up going home because she got angry that we couldn’t go out o a club with her and the others….

    When I look back to that day, I feel like I was the rich person. She was the poor one. I had a great life with no money. She had all the money and things she could want, but it wasn’t enough.

    So I guess the rich girl on school made me understand that even though I was poor, I was rich too 🙂

    • LauraJ says

      I’ve had friends like that before. When I went to Miami, I ended up getting into debt trying to match up with my ‘friend’ who wanted a 5* star hotel with the most expensive restaurants. There was no compromise.
      I think people go through life and naturally try to figure out life, by looking at those around them.
      I’m glad you look back and realise you were the rich one. There’s nothing wrong in having nice things, but when use your wealth to create your self-esteem or when you don’t appreciate it, it’s really worth not having.
      And if you ask me, a poor mind is always worse than a rich one, regardless of income. 🙂

  8. thelonelyauthorblog says

    Thank you for sharing this enlightening story. Your friends may have been monetarily rich, but they were poor in so many ways. Did they really appreciate their wealth. You learned much for these experiences. They formed the beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent, and compassionate woman that you are. I’d say you are pretty damn rich yourself.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you for reading Andrew! And thank you so much for that undeserved but wonderful compliment!!
      My old friends really didn’t appreciate wealth, both monetarily and internally. They had poor minds in a way.

  9. Emmy says

    This was a great read! ll very thought provoking and I completely agree that money doesn’t equal worth. It might enable you to do some lovely things but you can certainly be a wonderful person without it x

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you!! I think money is fantastic for opportunity and if I was rich, I would love to do more. But like you said, it doesn’t necessarily make a person wonderful or even mean they are happier or have a better life. Thank you for reading! x

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