There’s a dark grey beauty to feeling sad. A romantic, heart-string night; one with raindrops and a little hail of thunder. Sometimes sadness is the next step to happy, like how hate is a frame away from love. It’s an important emotion to have. Wandering in alleyways and street corners looking for light, doesn’t make you negative.
We’re not all sad by choice
We love the stories of vulnerable women like Marilyn Monroe. We know, that deep down, underneath all her pain and heartache, there was a woman thirsty for life, hungry to live and explore. From the evidence collected, we understand that she tried her hardest to smile. She tried her hardest to remain positive in bad circumstances.
Going through bouts of sadness, whether lost, depressed or complacent, is entirely different to being a negative person. Mostly I find, the people dug in the biggest bottomless pits, are the ones who have the widest spirits. Imagine trying to find happiness when your world is hazed in grey.
We shouldn’t be afraid to show our gloom
We are told, that happiness is about optimism and waking to a positive mind. We’re told to avoid friendships and people who don’t arise to our flourishing tendencies. Avoid negative people.
They will only bring you down and cause you harm. According to lifehack.org, some of the 15 signs of negative people, include complaining, worrying and enjoying secrecy.
My friend last week, casually told me I was a complainer. This friend was clueless as to why I took such offence over this line, because they weren’t saying it in a ‘bad way’. I naturally get anxious, nervous and stressed. I vent my emotions to let them out and to move on. What one says is complaining, the other declares expression.
There is a huge difference between a person who goes out of their way to bring others down, who tries desperately to find fault in every situation, to a person who struggles to adopt a happy-go-lucky attitude.
We all interpret complications in our own way
My sister – a very upbeat, happy person, became annoyed when I confessed to my harbouring depression. I told her I had always been sad, which sounds a lot more devastating than reality.
What I meant to say, is that I’ve never lived a lengthy period of life, ecstatically happy. When I became high on holiday, I remember thinking – some people actually feel this good on a routine basis. I’ve never had a happy stability; I often feel lost and like I’m suppose to board a train – my ticket I can’t find.
Sometimes those joyful, act as though life is ridiculously easy and simple. We just have to choose happiness. We just have to write positive thoughts and live them. They tell us their stories…’I was sad once. But I just realised…
None of us can judge or compare, because we only see life through one vision. How on earth do we know what it’s like for somebody else, how can we assume the similarities of our paths, means the similarities of our thoughts and experiences?
I am a dreamer, and that makes life worth living. I’m positive enough to go for what I want, to believe in myself beyond reasonable doubt, and to wait out for true, Disney, Hollywood love. The kind that has me wearing a trench coat in the rain.
I try to live positively, and I try my hardest to stay away from feeling sad. When that side of me is out though, I’m not going to apologise, because I’m not going to try to bring others down or push them in my wake. I’m sad, not negative. There’s a distinct difference.
We need to open our eyes wider
Instead of having a blasé attitude to life, instead of beaming that life is short and we should all just live, we should open our eyes to depth and sorrow. We should remove the thought that life is somehow better when beaming positivity.
There is a dark grey beauty to feeling sad. Collectively, some of the best books are shrouded in all kinds of anguish. Some of the best lives are as up and down as a roller-coaster. For those feeling sad, know that at times it’s okay. It doesn’t make you negative, it doesn’t make you undesirable. Sadness is occasionally, apart of life.
Have you ever been called a negative person? Do you think there are still too many assumptions and stereotypes linked to people who feel sad or who can’t find raw happiness?
Interesting article with some truth to it….totally on point Laura ✌✌
Thank you as always!! x
I just wanna hug you right now!
You’re such a good writer, and this is suuuch an important thing to talk about. Sad is not the same as being negative!
I’m really down at the moment, sad, because of the problems my disability is currently giving me. But I can’t talk to anyone about that, because if a person with a disability talks about being sad, however temporary it is, we instantly get told that we’re “bringing everyone down” with our “depression” and that we need help… So when doctors ask if everything is OK, I smile and say yes. If I tell them the truth, they WILL diagnose me with depression, when I’m really just a bit sad right now…
I find that so shocking! In the UK, when you feel sad, people either treat you with sympathy (sometimes in a patronising way), or they are quick to dismiss your feelings and say oh you’ll be fine don’t worry.
I’m sorry you don’t have anyone to talk to about your disability, but I’m always here if you want to get it off your chest and say something.
Doctors are super quick to diagnose depression and then give pills. Even friends are quick to assume it. It’s like, since when did the emotion sad become something else?
In Sweden, it has gotten to the point that, if you’re sad, you pretty much need to be quiet abouit it or you will “ruin the day for everyone”… Thankfully, a lot of people are stepping up to try to make a change. I wish I had the energy to do the same, but I have to focus on my own health right now 🙂
Give it time, and enough people will step forward and then a change will hopefully really start to make others wake up.
Girl I know I always say this, but I LOVED this! Not only can I connect with it, especially right now, but everything you wrote was so beautifully right on point. I use to hide any emotions deemed negative by society but the last couple of years I have begun to open up more. It is all bout being genuine and we ALL have bad days. Those who support you will always be there for you, whether it is rainy or sunny. Thank you for sharing this sweets! <3
Thank you for reading! I say this all the time as well (well I think it if I don’t always say), I am so ridiculously grateful for your comments! It kind makes all the work of blogging worthwhile!!
I hate how sad and negative are both linked. It makes people feel even worse than they need to! x
Absolutely with you on all you say, gladly as always! There is so much value in experiencing the full range of our personality and emotions with no judgment or trying to deny or escape.
Thank you! There really is value and wisdom to be gained from just expressing our emotions – whether bad or good. As always, I forever appreciate your kind words!!
You are most welcome, always 🙂
Very good and valid point Laura
Thank you Kurian 🙂
You are welcome Laura