I hate losing. I’m that girl who lands on too many properties in Monopoly, gives away too much money, and then declares bankruptcy, before my game is officially over. I’ve never taken well to comments not in my favour. Especially when it comes to my work. But just last week, it finally hit me; I should love criticism. This is why it’s a compliment:
Nothing is free – especially advice
There are two types of criticism. The first is what I call hate – bitchy comments or disapproval for no beneficial reason. And then the second – critique to help a person improve. Otherwise known as constructive.
As hard as it is to hear, if someone is willing to take the time to tell you how to do better – listen. You don’t always have to act on advice, but none of us are perfect enough to not gain from another perspective.
It’s a huge compliment if someone senior or with experience, is prepared to tell you – hey, this is rubbish. People are busy, no one owes anyone anything. I’ve had bloggers tell me before, I need to help them, because they don’t know what they are doing. Why?
Most lessons and skills are learnt over an adequate time period. If someone gives you a verbal short-cut, take it. I’m forever grateful now, to have had experts tell me my writing’s not good enough. That pushed me, and now my work’s stronger.
People talking about you is press regardless
Whether someone talks bad or good, the fact that you’re in conversation, means you’ve created an impact.
Time is precious, and I think if a person is willing to waste their life on writing and talking about others, firstly, how exciting is their life? Secondly, how interesting is the person who their discussing? I refuse to believe online trolls are happy. That’s like saying England is a hot country.
Criticism makes you stronger
I feel like I’ve grown up my whole, being told who I am and what I’m capable of. Everyone said I couldn’t be a makeup artist. Then everyone said I couldn’t be a writer. Then when I became both, I was told I would only go so far.
People say I look slutty in photos; I pose too much. I’m too conservative and smart – why does it look like I’m heading to an office? I wear too much makeup; I look too natural.
It forever goes on and there was a time in my life when I was happy to act as a people-pleaser and take on board every suggestion. I’m truly thankful today, because all those words made me push myself to figure out exactly who I want to become.
The times when I was picked on for having acne and being awkward in school – those moment make me love my skin even more. In addition to wanting to behave that much more freely.
It means we have dreams
Most negative criticism, stems from people taking risks. Doing what others believe they are not capable of. I adore being a dreamer. I absolutely refuse to live life as a realist and stay in the boxes of society.
However ridiculous my ambition is to others, to hear that it won’t happen or it’s impossible, makes me strive and reach beyond my potential. I love criticism, as it means I get to achieve my goals, and then prove doubters wrong.
It shows we have a voice
A 2014 article in The New York Times, states how women don’t voice their ideas, over fears of criticism. The piece suggests that women are so conditioned to try to come across nice and possess dainty feminine ideals, that they are willing to keep quiet.
I wrote about ambition and asked: Is it still a dirty word for women? My article research strongly concluded that females are giving mixed-messages by society.
Well, I consider myself a feminist (women free to have choices), and I think more women need to step forward and not be afraid to use their opinion. If our opinion gets criticised, at least we got to say what we wanted.
How do you feel about constructive criticism? Out of all these points on how to love criticism, which is most truthful to you? Do you think if you could love criticism, it would make you stronger?