How hard is life not eating animal products? The easy part is not eating them. Here’s the truth about life on a vegan diet – albeit with a sarcastic take.
You know everyone’s favourite food
I love that stereotype – ‘You know whether someone is a vegan because a vegan will tell you’.
Well, the minute you have to mention you are a vegan (how else do you explain saying no to half the food), wait for someone to tell you how they could never do it.
Expect a one-sided conversation – a list of all the things someone could eat with cheese, meat and fish. By the end, you will feel like you’ve vacationed in their stomach – knowing every piece of food that flows through their mouth.
You learn a menu before arriving
Going to a non-vegan restaurant is a stressful experience. I always like to check beforehand to brace myself, or hopefully choose a place that somewhat caters.
Many restaurants now provide vegan menus. These are usually menus that are made for vegetarians but will have around 3 vegan choices. So, you basically get told there is a menu for you, only to discover that you are welcome to a couple of salads with no dressing. Or pasta with no sauce.
You will sit and ponder if it’s okay to eat the tree branch outside or just suffice on water.
You come across as a nuisance
I’ve been told before: “We didn’t want to invite you because we didn’t know what you would eat”.
You also have to feel like this awkward person ruining a party. I still have friends that say: “Should we go to KFC? Oh wait…you don’t eat it”.
Of course, I absolutely cannot suggest a vegan restaurant as vegan food is disgusting and all vegans accept that for animals – right?
People think you’re dreaming of meat and dairy
I am completely okay with others eating whatever they choose in front of me – to a degree, because if you did a tree branch I’d be concerned. But people naturally apologise or believe when eating animal produce, they’re putting temptation before my eyes.
Especially with a bacon sandwich or cheeseburger. I mean, I could have one…shh!
However, I took the decision not to, and I live with that choice. I’m not going to have a meltdown and I’ll try to not let my stomach grumble.
They also assume you’re a preacher
I have zero business in dictating how others live. I’ve just switched my skincare to vegan and need to swap my clothes – yes, not perfect!
Please don’t believe each person on a vegan diet is a hippie or preacher.
Apparently you’re taking over
Okay, veganuary was a thing and supermarkets are accommodating. However, in the grand scheme of things – despite a vegan diet being one of the fastest growing, society is not exactly parading veganism.
I can’t put on MasterChef and not see a fish being skinned – a vegan doesn’t win on Come Dine With Me.
Your food recommendations are disgusting
I celebrated my first month as a vegan last October. For over two decades, I was a cheese addict, McDonald’s lover and prawn enthusiast.
There are some awful vegan substitutes – cheese that disintegrates in your mouth and butter that makes toast unpalatable – I get it.
On the other hand, there are awesome swaps out there. Food that you couldn’t believe is vegan. My mum purchases vegan sausage rolls for herself and she would never give up meat. Before you roll your eyes and distrust all vegan alternatives – try and stay open-minded.
Most vegans have had meat before – we didn’t grow up in fields hugging cows.
For vegans or vegetarians, how much of this do you agree with? For non-vegans and vegetarians, do you know anyone on a vegan diet? How much does it affect your social-life with them?
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