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  1. Melina Elisa says

    You and me are SO much alike. I’m a chronic over-analyzer. I over analyze to the point of death. Even though I usually don’t have closure, I don’t think closure would have made a different. I over analyze, it’s what I do. I would still think over every single word he/they/she/whoever says. I still wonder where I went wrong. Why I wasn’t perfect enough. Why I had so many issues that certain people couldn’t deal with me. That’s just the truth of it. I’ve been working on affirmations to say when I get so into my head that it’s destructive. It’s helped tremendously. It’s not a change that happens overnight, but I have to say that I am at least a little bit kinder to myself. Great post Laura xx

    melina | melinaelisa.com

    • LauraJ says

      Yes our thoughts go through the exact same process! I can’t help play detective and try and get to the bottom of everything. It’s got better because I don’t waste so much time now trying to figure everything out, but I am an analyser by nature.
      I like the idea of affirmations though. xx

  2. hell0chloe says

    I love this, so relatable and it’s always so nice to hear other people talking about things like this in such depth – sometimes I think it’s only me that overthinks it all! As I’m getting older I’m definitely learning to stop over-analysing and questioning everything – instead I’m just letting it be and letting go. Great post as always .xx

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I’ve over-analysed my whole life and I think it’s because I love playing detective…like I always want to figure everything out. But some things are better not putting thought into. xx

  3. Infinite Living says

    Your post has that poetic rhythm that I love in our writings and a very relatable thought process to most who are old souls in how they relate with people and apply their way of being to having social media as a significant platform for relating with people.
    As a general rule I believe Why never helps us a question although we yearn for an answer to our Whys often. ‘What’ questions serve me better instead – What goodness did that BLANK offer me? What space of freedom do I have now that it is gone? How is this serving me in my best interest? As we discover the answer for these questions to nourish us we can allow the Whys to visit us safely as guests at times. You have addressed the same so effectively!

  4. Beyoutiful says

    Omg, I can so relate and this sounds so like me lol! I over analyze every single thing whether its relationships, friendships, career, etc. I’m always insecure and blame myself for doing something wrong. Always thought that I made a mistake somewhere. I realized over time that I was stupid to think that way and it was never me and was always them. Over analyzing just leads to something that wasnt even there and results in more disappointments. I’m trying to avoid it and I’m trying to love myself more which has def made a big difference. Great post as always love <3

    • LauraJ says

      We are the same here! Looking back, most times that I have blamed myself, it’s usually been the other person. Which isn’t to say that I’m perfect or never wrong, but I used myself as the excuse for their mistakes.
      I’m trying to live more freely and just let things go in life, because I like the idea of feeling free. So removing over-analysing will be great – it’s just a long process to leave behind right! x

  5. It Girl says

    I can’t even express how much I can relate to your post. I’m the kind of person who analyzes everything. Myself, the situations and everyone around me. And unfortunately, I do it even more when it comes to relationships. Having no closure literally drives me mad (not even kidding). I’m slowly learning now that sometimes you can’t get all the answers and you should stop thinking and analyzing before you only hurt yourself.

    • LauraJ says

      I do think it would be good if people could be honest after a breakup and give that closure, but it’s easier for them to not be the ‘bad guy’ and confess.
      So I think more people do have to accept that they won’t get all the answers. It drives me mad as well. I would always call my friends and say…what does this mean? Or what could that be?
      But I know that even with closure, I will just analyse that. It’s a never ending cycle!

      • It Girl says

        Same! I’m trying to be more like “well, fuck it, I don’t give a damn”, but I know it’s a little destructive as well. I’m still searching for the perfect balance lol

  6. thelonelyauthorblog says

    Good post.

    Funny thing about the way people view the end of relationships. Why do people tend to think the end means it went wrong? Perhaps the two people grew and the new people they became drifted apart. Or they just lost the connection they once had.

    I learned to stop over-analyzing the need of relationships. I try to analyze what I could have done better. But I won’t beat myself over anything I did wrong. Life beats on us enough already.

    • LauraJ says

      That’s a great way of looking at it. I think it’s hard when it ends and your’re not sure why.

      But I agree, you shouldn’t beat yourself up and it’s good to stop seeing the situation in a negative light,

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