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  1. thelonelyauthorblog says

    I believe many women fall into the trap of wanting their mate to think them perfect. We have to accept who we are. Our strengths and faults. And we need to find loving understanding mates who will appreciate us for who we are. Not a “perfect” person that they dream of. We could never find true happiness doing this.

    Excellent post. Love reading your thoughts. It feels as if we actually in your head.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I definitely always want to come across perfect, or I start to over analyse what I could be doing wrong.
      And I guess I’m quick to make excuses for a partner and not for me. But that doesn’t lead to happiness. I’m single right now but when I find someone, I will work to stop trying to project perfection.

  2. poeticallyyours360 says

    Well articulated and expressed. I use to do the comparative thing. Now I compare myself with myself and have a blast. I know who I am, regardless of how i look or how some one looks at me. Thank you for sharing. I imagine this was therapeutic!

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you for reading! This was really therapeutic to write and I instantly felt better after. I think comparing yourself to yourself is the best way, but in saying that, I can constantly question myself.

      • poeticallyyours360 says

        yeah, I understand the dynamic of such thoughts. I do not claim them as my own, because they are not from me nor for me. I do not desire to think less of me nor my own abilities. It’s a complex subject matter! Again thank you for sharing and be an outlet for others to discuss without feeling judged

  3. Melina Elisa | Ivefoundwaldo says

    I seriously struggle with perfectionism, I think that’s why I struggle with putting out youtube videos so much. I wait til I look perfect, and have the most perfect idea to want to start recording. That moment never comes, I procrastinate to the max. I understand what you’re talking about, and it’s frustrating. There are dozens of posts that never see the day of light, because of the fact that I’m not happy with them. I can never find the right words. I try to ignore the nagging in my head, and while some days it works, there are days where nothing I do makes the voice shut up. You’re not alone Laura xx

    Melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.com

    • LauraJ says

      I do the exact same with my blog posts! Yesterday I had a post ready, and because I didn’t think that it was perfect, it’s still sat in my drafts folder.
      Even with photos, I hate the idea of taking a photo if I don’t feel that I look the best or the lighting doesn’t works in my favour.
      Although I don’t wish this on you, it’s nice knowing that you can relate.
      It’s weird because it’s our own mind literally at a war with itself. I do tend to listen to my voices, because I always regret if I post something and don’t like it. xxx

  4. Paolo B. says

    Loved how this was written and how reflective it is. I’ve been thinking similar thoughts lately. Wanting to do better is great, but how much is too much. Will you ever be happy with what you’ve done or accomplished though? I don’t know. It’s a fine line between balancing striving to do better and also allowing yourself to feel good about what you’ve done. I always try to emphasize the process but it’s easier said than done sometimes. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with always striving to be better, but I do think there’s a problem if this leads to never being happy. Just being self-aware of this is a good step to finding some sort of balance. Great post as always Laura 🙂

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you Paolo! I agree with you, striving becomes a problem if it never leads to being happy. It’s so rare for me to be proud of my work because I will always dig and look for faults.
      So I know that I need to keep improving and try to find a better solution. Focusing on the progress is a good option. 🙂

  5. Courtney Livingston says

    Wow I can definitely relate to this need for perfection and approval for others. As a child, I would do the same thing- tell my parents something in hopes of their approval. I still am this way but in a more adult form- wanting perfection in work, marriage, and friendships. But I like how you said perfectionism doesn’t just go away by writing down what you love about yourself! It’s much deeper. I am thankful that the lord accepts my- my flaws and all- and loves me anyways. I’m never going to reach perfection, but I strive to be more like chr!st and that helps me reset my priorities for perfection! Great post!
    xx
    Courtney || https://courtneylivin.com

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you Courtney. I have had friends say that to me before – I know trying to be helpful, but writing it down will only go so far.
      I look for perfection in all my relationships as well. Or I try to make myself perfect in them.
      xx

  6. crystalsandcurls says

    This post is absolutely brilliant. I don’t personally believe in perfection mainly for all the reasons you outlined – it feels harmful to aim for something unachievable. I love that you’re so self-aware, I’m sure you’ll master that balance in time xx

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I know there’s no such thing as perfection, but I still can’t stop myself from trying to reach it.
      I will definitely keep working on it though and looking for a better balance. xx

  7. Beyoutiful says

    I can totally relate because I always strive for perfection and being a perfectionist at all times, but even then sometimes I feel i’m still not content with myself. Def social media plays a role in perfectionism. Great post girl 🙂

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I think social-media plays a role, but then I also think that society has always put people in front of us and told us – this is what to strive for. I remember the amount of women’s magazines that I would read, constantly bombarding me with tips and falling over celebs.
      It’s that thing of striving for perfection, but then knowing that your standards will always be too high. x

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I think people look to others too much to validate their worth. Social-media makes it really easy to do so. It is a tedious balance and one that I haven’t fully mastered.

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