What does self-love look like?
Is it a girl walking down the street with abs and drinking a smoothie, or a girl laughing at herself because she has continually managed to spill her food down her top?
I have been both girls – maybe with shy abs that barely peek through, but two equal versions of me. Sometimes I am the perfectionist who tries to reach to the best of her abilities, and sometimes the relaxed laugher who just gives up and succumbs to life’s mistakes.
Self-love is more than a motivational quote and less than a fitness goal. When I see my physical changes throughout the years, I know somewhere that I have believed in myself enough to change – I trusted that I would be happy losing my hair; determined to tone up and take care of myself.
Aware however, that throughout those images, a voice remained. I hear a cry that bursts my bubble and emptiness which tells me that I am not satisfied.
“I can do better”.
It really is an art form; loving yourself as much as your photos speaks confidence. And I have looked more together in photographs than I have acted in reality.
And when I snapped my before and after shots together, I knew that it was not enough. Self love is more than a soak in a bath and less than a mantra on how to improve.
Self-love is not your past
All the venom and words of loneliness – from you or from others, they are not your truth. One of the blessings in disguise which our lives grant us, is the ability to re-live another day. Accept your past for what it is and then leave it there.
Do not discuss it when you make strides towards your present and your future.
Self-love is not perfection
You cannot love yourself if you are planning on loving someone who ceases to exist.
Every soul begins with a blank canvas; they soon enough splatter rays of colour. Knowing when to walk away with your head held high is important. And even if you have not tried your best today, knowing that you wanted to and you have the strength to acknowledge your best – that is important too.
Self-love is not purity
Writing down your qualities is a healing process, although it does not diminish your flaws. Equally, a healing process is acknowledging that you are human and by nature – a work of art.
Make mistakes – paint lines of fault. It is virtually near impossible to remove them all. And when you analyse your bad traits – you can see the good secretly hidden amongst them.
Suddenly your apparent laziness is your enjoyment at staying stress-free; your open heart is your happiness wanting to share delight with another.
Self-love is forever
Because we will keep growing and evolving; we will keep regretting. Self love is comforting your mind when you are angry with yourself; you didn’t accomplish your list of tasks.
Self-love is focusing
If you do want to learn an additional language, cook homemade pasta or burn more calories on a treadmill; find the confidence to see your ambitions through.
Focus on what you really want. Most of the time, noise bellows through our heads. We are distracted by worries, doubts, insignificant day-to-day that will soon be forgotten down the line. Giving in to your passions and seeing them through; that will make you feel assured in your capabilities.
Self-love is freedom
Dress how you want; run in the rain and throw your umbrella to the wind.
Be free to embrace your personality; your styling preferences, your way of writing. What you want to share and type – without wondering whether a reader or person will agree.
I am a perfectionist and I am not perfect. I will continue to screw up and be negative – sometimes I will wish that I was no longer me, sometimes I will want to be a bird and fly away from my surroundings unbeknown to anyone.
But I come back and keep teaching myself what I once learnt and forgot. And I keep remembering what self-love is.
When I dream, I almost feel like me as a child. Then I awake and rapidly as the days go by, moments appear that make me realise that I do remember my education. I have in some ways learnt the art of self-love.
How do you practice self-love?