When I feel great – the world is my oyster. Everything is positive. My body is a work of art, my writing is creative. When I feel insecure – I’m disgusting. My work is terrible and all my dreams are as pointless as me attempting to go to bed early, when I always sleep at the same time. Here is why I believe it’s normal to feel both confident and insecure.
Confident people can be the most insecure
What is confidence? To me it’s like motivation. It’s something you continuously build on. However self-assured a person may seem, we might all be one comment away from a private battle. As this article on Odyssey says, being loud and out-going, is one of the easiest ways to disguise self-doubt. Just because a person walks the walk…
True confidence in who you are is hard to come by. The next time you see someone who looks beyond content, just remember, they might be wearing a wonderful mask.
In the build up to feeling good, it’s natural to slip up on the way
When I think back to me at 13, I quickly realise how much I’ve grown. Despite overcoming many obstacles, it doesn’t mean I am 100%. Admittedly, I have actually managed to worry about insecurity – worry that it will never go away or all the work I’ve put in to finding self-love, is secretly meaningless. But it’s okay to not have it all figured out yet, and that doesn’t mean you’re back at square one.
We all have areas we feel uncertain in
Using the life-goal app Remente, I have to rate each area of my life on a weekly basis. Which means, deciding how I feel about work, family, friends, love, fun and of course, my goals. For the most part, there’s always one aspect that can face improvement.
That’s kind of how it is with our mind’s and personalities. Perhaps we feel fantastic about our new workout goals, but then terrible about our diets. Or we love our level of intellect and drive but hate the size of our lips or the length of our hair.
And maybe in the self-love movement, we’ve faced too much pressure to perfect each area. We’re suppose to love every part of us and ignore all criticism. The drive for perfection can make us hate how easily we manage to scrutinise. Though self-love, means also accepting that we are human and we can’t always like everything.
It’s easy to trigger insecurity
Have you ever felt amazing? The guy you’ve fancied for months, has finally asked you out, and the pay rise you were hoping for at work has now happened. Then you meet an old friend, who is going on holiday at a 5* location, with her handsome partner, all paid for with their impressive careers.
Suddenly your pay rise doesn’t feel so increased, and that one date doesn’t mean anything. This happens. And while we try not to compare, our brain’s may get the better of us. On the plus side, after those insecure doubts, we often build ourselves up back higher. We become inspired to achieve more. So, in a way, being confident and insecure, can drive us overall.
Introverts and extroverts – isn’t this the same thing?
I’m sure most of us, think we are a mix of both. We love going out, as equally as we love staying in. There’s huge pressure in society to act and live confident in who you are. Which for those of us who live with insecurity, this easily makes us worry about how we come across.
Perhaps there’s an acceptance in knowing that there will always be doubt. For those confident and insecure, our journeys to self-happiness, is simply taking a longer course.
How do you feel? Would you say you are both confident and insecure? Do you sway to one side more?