Months back, I wrote two mindset posts: 5 ways people try to break you and 5 ways to deal with your jealousy and competitiveness. I have decided to continue with this 5 series and discuss what some us may encounter through social-media and blogging.
Check that you are not misinterpreting
Even with emoticons, writing online takes away many of the vital clues that we use for interaction. We cannot hear a person’s tone or see their body language. It is always worth rereading and trying to see the person’s point of view before becoming offended. Of course, at times the writing is on the wall and you do not need to analyse any further.
I actually had a comment once that said – “I tried to read this but it is really long and boring. Can you please check out my page and give me some tips”. It made me laugh at least.
Through Instagram, I have encountered some issues. One girl I used to communicate with, used to post fitness images of her and her partner. On this one occasion she wrote the caption “me and my best friend”. I replied something along the lines of – you make a really cute couple. She then said “no, he is my best friend”.
I followed-up with the response – “you did say best friend. Apologies, I made a mistake”. She deleted my comments and I never heard from her again.
Another moment that sticks in my mind; this guy used to love my sarcasm. I would always make jokes on his captions and he would laugh and write on mine. Anyway, I perhaps went too far and on a photo of him with a clown, I wrote “great photo – shame you are in it”. I did use a tongue emoticon but he blocked me.
Realise that the problem is not you
I have said this previously but it is a point worth remembering. People, who go out of their way to try to criticise or bring someone down, are people who cannot deal with their own issues.
I have read numerous comments which have been made to others – usually on social-media, regarding their weight or physical appearance. In my eyes, someone happy and content with themselves, does not need to waste moments spewing hatred.
If you read negativity (easier said than done) do not take it to heart. It is especially cowardly and more straightforward to type it behind a screen. Focus on your own opinions because they are the ones that live with you forever.
What many want is the reaction – and that’s life in general. To really boost their low self-esteem, they need to know that you have been affected.
Do not give them that satisfaction. I go by the ethos of wit, however if that is not on my side, I stay calm and either send a nice reply or just delete and move on.
Utilise your controls
I always approve blogging comments and that is not necessarily because I am worried about bad comments – touch wood I have mostly received lovely messages. In honesty, what irritates me considerably is the spam.
Be that as it may, you can edit your settings to make it harder for offensive words to enter your path. Sites such as Instagram, under settings, allow you to use a keyword filter and block comments from particular accounts. It is worth checking your controls to be certain everything is in order.
It is not the real world
That was hard to type because I love blogging and all the amazing people who I have encountered and now refer to as friends.
We are not only defined by what we write nevertheless. The strangers who post pessimistically, are not your online friends or acquaintances, who have gone through the process of figuring out who you are and following you on your journey. Do not allow a snap judgement of another, to question your mind and viewpoint. It is ok and normal for disagreement, just not for plain rudeness.
Have you seen or experienced negativity whilst online?